Saturday, November 02, 2002

On July 4, 1999, I was going to college in a city in the south. I went to a July 4th party with my roommate and the guy she was dating. He and I had hooked up a few times, beginning before he started dating her, but she didn't know that. It was always when we were drunk at parties - we would sneak into a room and make out. Sometimes we would leave the door open a crack just to tempt fate, but neither my roommate nor my boyfriend ever caught us.
So I was at this particular party, and J. was pouring me a beer from the keg. We made eye contact and he sort of nodded towards the side of the house. When he was done pouring the beer we headed over. It was dark except for tiki torches, so noone noticed us.
He pushed me against the side of the house and started kissing my neck. His hand went immediately up my skirt and into my underwear. Usually I don't go for the manual stuff too much, because they usually do it so rough, but he was gentle. He waited for me to get really wet before he pushed his fingers in. We made out like this for about half an hour - we kept trying to stop but going back for "one more" kiss. Finally we rejoined the party. Everyone was drunk and nobody even noticed we were gone.
My roommate stumbled up to us and announced that she had just thrown up in the bushes because she was so drunk. She wanted to go home.I said "I could go home, too"
We all got in J.s car, my roommate in the front seat and me in the back. The entire ride home, we all talked about the party. The entire ride home, J.s right hand was up my skirt - while he was driving. I let him do it, I think, partially because I was shocked at his boldness and wanted to see if we could get away with it. And we did. She never knew. She broke up with him a few weeks later to go out with someone else, and he and I never hooked up again.
I'm starting this diary because I think about sex a lot. I also have sex a lot. I'm also a writer. But I've often found, when trying to write about sex, that my socialization gets in the way. I find myself writing what I think people want to hear or what makes me seem "perfect", instead of what I really think. I make a vow, with this first entry, that everything I write in this diary will be true, and that I will never jeopardize my anonymity in any way. It is the anonymous nature of this diary that allows it to exist.
Some notes about this site:
-All names, and a few unimportant identifying details will be changed.
-Entries in italicsare memories - my sexual autobiography.
-Entries in regular type are diary-style depictions of recent events.
-I very much welcome feedback from readers. Here is a guestbook:
Some notes about me:
-I am 24 years old and I live in Williamsburg, Brooklyn, New York.
-I currently have several love interests - most live in other cities.
-At this date, I have slept with 6 people, all male.
The next entry, and all others henceforth, will be much sexier than this one. I promise.